After a Loss: First Calls & Next Steps
In the first days after a loss, families are asked to make dozens of decisions while grieving. This playbook puts the steps in order — who to call first, what to ask for, and word-for-word scripts for the hardest conversations — so no one has to figure it out alone.
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One manageable first step.
Begin with the calls that apply to your circumstances. You do not have to complete every suggestion, and the phases are guidance rather than deadlines. Scripts are general information, not legal advice.
How Plans & Keepsakes helps
Practical help when it is hard to know what to say.
The free First Calls guide below suggests 18 calls in four phases. Fill in a few details to personalize the scripts, read questions to ask, and mark calls complete or not applicable. Your entries stay only on this page and clear when you refresh or leave; they are not saved to your account.
What that looks like in everyday life
Before calling a bank, read a suggested opening and the questions about deposits and automatic payments. Ask what documents and authority the institution needs before making changes.
What you can do with Plans & Keepsakes
A little help with the next conversation.
The free First Calls guide on this page helps you prepare for practical calls. The call guide does not save your entries, and the records you gather belong in your own storage.
18 suggested calls, in four phases
See suggested calls from the first few days through the first couple of months, and choose those that fit your situation.
Why it matters: You have a starting point without treating the phases as deadlines.
Words to begin and questions to ask
Fill in a few details to personalize scripts, then review questions before calling a bank, employer, insurer, or another institution.
Why it matters: You do not have to come up with the opening words while trying to remember everything you need to ask.
A simple way to work through this visit
Mark calls complete or not applicable and jot down notes while the page is open. Entries clear when you refresh or leave.
Why it matters: See what remains during this session. Copy anything you need to keep before leaving; progress is not shared with family.
A place for the records you collect
Certificates, existing legal documents, insurance papers, and important contacts: keep a copy in your own secure storage (see the Records Guide).
Why it matters: Keep the practical paperwork together as you speak with institutions and qualified advisors.
1 · Prepare
Prepare for each call
First Calls starts you with 18 suggested calls in four phases, from the first few days through the first couple of months. Timing depends on your circumstances and each institution’s requirements, so use it as a guide rather than a set of deadlines.
This guide covers U.S. institutions. Use verified contact details from official websites or statements. Only an authorized person can give account instructions; being a relative does not automatically grant authority.
First 24–72 hours
Banks, employer HR, and the funeral home. Ask the bank how its procedures affect pending deposits and automatic payments.
First 1–2 weeks
Social Security, life insurance claims, and the mortgage servicer.
First 30 days
The three credit bureaus, and essential utilities.
30–60+ days
Credit cards, retail accounts, the DMV, mail forwarding, and voter registration.
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First 24–72 hours
Bank or credit union
What to say
Hello, my name is [your name]. I’m calling about [loved one’s name], who passed away on [date of passing]. I am their [your relationship]. Please connect me with the team that handles deceased customers. I need to understand the notification process before making changes to any account. Please let me know what authority you need before sharing account information or accepting instructions.
Questions to ask
- How will notification affect pending deposits and automatic payments?
- What authority and documents are required, and how are joint accounts handled?
- Should any benefits deposits be held pending instructions from the paying agency?
Employer HR
What to say
Hello, my name is [your name]. I’m calling about [loved one’s name], who passed away on [date of passing]. I am their [your relationship]. Could you help the family understand final pay, workplace life insurance, retirement benefits, and any support available? Please let me know what authority you need before sharing account information or accepting instructions.
Questions to ask
- Who handles each benefit or claim?
- What documents and deadlines apply?
- How does this affect coverage for dependents?
Funeral home
What to say
Hello, my name is [your name]. I’m calling about [loved one’s name], who passed away on [date of passing]. I am their [your relationship]. We would like help understanding arrangements, transportation, and obtaining death certificates. Please let me know what authority you need before sharing account information or accepting instructions.
Questions to ask
- What needs to happen now, and what can wait?
- Could you provide an itemized price list?
- Do you report the death to Social Security, and how do we confirm that?
First 1–2 weeks
Social Security
What to say
Hello, my name is [your name]. I’m calling about [loved one’s name], who passed away on [date of passing]. I am their [your relationship]. I would like to confirm that the death has been reported and ask about benefit payments and possible survivor benefits. Please let me know what authority you need before sharing account information or accepting instructions.
Questions to ask
- Has the report been received?
- How should payments received around the date of death be handled?
- Who may apply for survivor benefits and what is the process?
Life insurance
What to say
Hello, my name is [your name]. I’m calling about [loved one’s name], who passed away on [date of passing]. I am their [your relationship]. Please explain how an eligible beneficiary can start a life insurance claim and what information is required. Please let me know what authority you need before sharing account information or accepting instructions.
Questions to ask
- What claim form and documents are needed?
- Is a certified death certificate required?
- What are the next steps and expected processing time?
Mortgage servicer
What to say
Hello, my name is [your name]. I’m calling about [loved one’s name], who passed away on [date of passing]. I am their [your relationship]. I need guidance on notifying you of a borrower’s death, keeping payments current, and your successor-in-interest process. Please let me know what authority you need before sharing account information or accepting instructions.
Questions to ask
- How can essential payments continue while authority is established?
- What documents establish a successor in interest?
- Are there time-sensitive notices or insurance requirements?
First 30 days
Equifax
What to say
Hello, my name is [your name]. I’m calling about [loved one’s name], who passed away on [date of passing]. I am their [your relationship]. Please explain your process for reporting a death and adding a deceased indicator to the credit file. Please let me know what authority you need before sharing account information or accepting instructions.
Questions to ask
- What proof of death and authority do you require?
- How do I submit documents securely?
- How can an authorized representative confirm the update?
Experian
What to say
Hello, my name is [your name]. I’m calling about [loved one’s name], who passed away on [date of passing]. I am their [your relationship]. Please explain your process for reporting a death and adding a deceased indicator to the credit file. Please let me know what authority you need before sharing account information or accepting instructions.
Questions to ask
- What documents are required?
- Is notification shared with other bureaus, or should we verify separately?
- How do we report suspected identity misuse?
TransUnion
What to say
Hello, my name is [your name]. I’m calling about [loved one’s name], who passed away on [date of passing]. I am their [your relationship]. Please explain how an authorized representative can report a death and update the credit file. Please let me know what authority you need before sharing account information or accepting instructions.
Questions to ask
- What proof and submission method are required?
- How can we confirm the deceased indicator?
- What should we do if unfamiliar accounts appear?
Electricity or gas
What to say
Hello, my name is [your name]. I’m calling about [loved one’s name], who passed away on [date of passing]. I am their [your relationship]. We need to keep essential service active while arranging an authorized account transfer or closure. Please let me know what authority you need before sharing account information or accepting instructions.
Questions to ask
- Can service stay on during the transition?
- What is needed to transfer the account?
- Are there balances, deposits, or scheduled shutoffs to address?
Water and sewer
What to say
Hello, my name is [your name]. I’m calling about [loved one’s name], who passed away on [date of passing]. I am their [your relationship]. Please explain how to keep water service active and transfer or close the account when appropriate. Please let me know what authority you need before sharing account information or accepting instructions.
Questions to ask
- What documents do you need?
- Does billing follow the property or account holder?
- How are any deposit and final bill handled?
Phone and internet
What to say
Hello, my name is [your name]. I’m calling about [loved one’s name], who passed away on [date of passing]. I am their [your relationship]. We need to understand transfer and closure options without losing access needed for authorized estate tasks. Please let me know what authority you need before sharing account information or accepting instructions.
Questions to ask
- Can service remain active temporarily?
- What happens to the phone number and account access?
- Are there device balances or equipment returns?
30–60+ days
Credit card issuers
What to say
Hello, my name is [your name]. I’m calling about [loved one’s name], who passed away on [date of passing]. I am their [your relationship]. Please connect me with your deceased-account team and explain the process for an authorized estate representative. Please let me know what authority you need before sharing account information or accepting instructions.
Questions to ask
- How are joint holders and authorized users treated?
- How should the estate receive balance and claim information?
- What happens to recurring charges? Do not assume a relative owes the debt personally.
Retail and store accounts
What to say
Hello, my name is [your name]. I’m calling about [loved one’s name], who passed away on [date of passing]. I am their [your relationship]. Please explain how an authorized representative can notify you and manage this store account. Please let me know what authority you need before sharing account information or accepting instructions.
Questions to ask
- Is there a balance or recurring membership charge?
- What documentation is needed?
- Can you send confirmation of any closure?
DMV or vehicle agency
What to say
Hello, my name is [your name]. I’m calling about [loved one’s name], who passed away on [date of passing]. I am their [your relationship]. Please explain your state’s process for reporting a death and handling a license, registration, or vehicle title. Please let me know what authority you need before sharing account information or accepting instructions.
Questions to ask
- What documents and authority are required?
- Are there state-specific deadlines?
- Should title or registration changes wait for estate instructions?
Mail forwarding
What to say
Hello, my name is [your name]. I’m calling about [loved one’s name], who passed away on [date of passing]. I am their [your relationship]. Please explain how an authorized representative can redirect mail for a deceased person. Please let me know what authority you need before sharing account information or accepting instructions.
Questions to ask
- Must this be requested in person?
- What proof of authority and identity is needed?
- How long does forwarding last, and what mail is excluded?
Voter registration
What to say
Hello, my name is [your name]. I’m calling about [loved one’s name], who passed away on [date of passing]. I am their [your relationship]. I would like to confirm how to report a death and update the voter registration record. Please let me know what authority you need before sharing account information or accepting instructions.
Questions to ask
- Has the record already been updated through vital records?
- What proof is needed if it has not?
- How can we confirm the update?
Subscriptions and memberships
What to say
Hello, my name is [your name]. I’m calling about [loved one’s name], who passed away on [date of passing]. I am their [your relationship]. Please explain your process for ending or transferring a subscription after an account holder’s death. Please let me know what authority you need before sharing account information or accepting instructions.
Questions to ask
- What documentation is required?
- Are there refunds or cancellation charges?
- Can you confirm that future billing has stopped?
Scripts and notes are general information, not legal advice. Requirements vary by state and institution. Check with the executor, administrator, or qualified advisor before changing accounts, paying debts, or transferring property. Essential services may need attention sooner than the suggested phase.
Practical next steps
One responsibility at a time.
Family can help with practical support. Account instructions, probate, and property decisions may require an appointed executor, administrator, or other authorized person. Beneficiaries may have separate rights. These labels are organizing guidance, not a determination of anyone’s legal authority.
Progress and expenses stay on this page only; leaving or refreshing clears them. Download your expense log before leaving. Keep receipts and records in storage you control: Records Guide.
Next steps for your situation
Describe general circumstances, such as whether there is a home to maintain, dependents, employment, or an appointed representative. Do not include names, account numbers, passwords, documents, or detailed medical or financial information.
Only this description is sent—not expense entries, First Calls details, or memories. Sign-in is required. Suggestions never change responsibility labels or mark tasks complete.
0 completed · 0 not applicable · 29 remaining
First steps
Start with people, care, and the immediate arrangements.
Notify family and ask for practical helpFamily support
Choose one contact to relay updates. Ask for specific help with meals, transport, or calls; no family account access is provided here.
Arrange care for dependents and petsFamily support
Check who needs immediate care. Confirm guardianship and care decisions with the person legally authorized to make them.
Contact hospice or a funeral providerFamily support
If hospice was involved, call them for next steps. Otherwise ask the appropriate local service about transportation and arrangements. Confirm who can authorize arrangements under local law.
Request certified death certificatesProvider or beneficiary authority
Ask the funeral home or vital records office who is eligible to order copies, how many institutions need originals, and the cost. Do not assume a fixed number of copies is required.
Find important papers
Locate originals and records in storage your family controls.
Locate the will, trust, and instructionsFamily support
Ask the attorney or check known family-controlled storage with permission. Finding a will or being named executor does not by itself establish authority to act.
Locate insurance and benefit informationFamily support
Find policy and employer contact information you are authorized to access. Keep policies and identifiers in your own storage, not this page.
Locate deeds, vehicle titles, and tax recordsFamily support
Note where originals are held and tell the authorized representative. Do not transfer, sell, or access restricted records without authority.
Find the attorney, accountant, and advisorsFamily support
Use known contact details or verified official websites. Ask what information a consultation needs; leave documents in storage you control.
Understand your authority
Confirm who can act before changing accounts or property.
Confirm the executor or administratorEstate authority required
Identify the person named in the will and ask the court or a qualified local attorney what appointment or documentation is needed. A power of attorney generally ends at death.
Ask whether probate is neededEstate authority required
Requirements depend on jurisdiction, ownership, and the estate. An authorized representative can ask a local court or estate attorney about the process and applicable deadlines.
Ask banks about notification and essential paymentsEstate authority required
Ask what authority is required and how notification affects deposits, joint accounts, and automatic payments. Do not automatically freeze or close accounts.
Keep the household running
Keep essential services and property attended to.
Check immediate home and property needsFamily support
With permission, check locks, pets, perishables, and urgent maintenance. Coordinate with the authorized representative; do not remove valuables or change ownership.
Review home insurance and occupancy requirementsProvider or beneficiary authority
Ask the insurer what changes or vacancy notices are needed and who can give instructions. Keep required coverage in place while authorized decisions are made.
Keep essential utilities operatingProvider or beneficiary authority
Ask providers about temporary continuity and authorized transfer or closure. Avoid canceling essential services before the household’s needs are understood.
Arrange authorized mail forwardingEstate authority required
Ask the postal service what identity and authority documentation is needed. Do not assume a relative may redirect mail without permission.
Gather incoming bills for reviewFamily support
Organize bills you may lawfully access for the authorized representative. Gathering a bill is not permission to pay it; relatives do not automatically owe estate debts.
Plan vacant-home maintenance or property decisionsEstate authority required
The authorized representative should arrange maintenance and qualified advice before renting, selling, or transferring property.
Track estate tasks
Gather information and get qualified help where needed.
Keep an estate-related expense logFamily support
Record dates, costs, and brief notes below. Keep receipts in your own storage. Logging a cost does not authorize payment or guarantee reimbursement.
Gather information for final taxesEstate authority required
Ask a qualified tax professional which final personal or estate returns apply, who can file them, and the deadlines for your circumstances.
Ask about employer and survivor benefitsProvider or beneficiary authority
Ask HR and the relevant agency about eligibility, proof of authority, and dependent coverage. Confirm whether a death report has already been received.
Ask about insurance claimsProvider or beneficiary authority
An eligible beneficiary or authorized representative should ask the insurer about required forms and documentation. A beneficiary’s rights may differ from the executor’s.
Check veteran benefits, if applicableProvider or beneficiary authority
Ask the official veterans agency about eligibility, burial benefits, and required service records. Mark not applicable if this does not fit your family.
Contact lenders through an authorized representativeEstate authority required
Ask about notification, successor-in-interest procedures, balances, and payment continuity. Do not assume family members are personally responsible for debt.
Digital affairs
Use authorized routes, not someone else’s passwords.
Ask about lawful access to devices and emailEstate authority required
Use provider deceased-user procedures and qualified advice. Do not bypass device locks, impersonate the account holder, or put passwords or recovery codes here.
Review subscriptions and membershipsProvider or beneficiary authority
Ask each provider who can cancel or transfer service, and what proof is needed. Keep phone or email access needed for authorized tasks in mind.
Review social-media remembrance optionsProvider or beneficiary authority
Use the provider’s official memorialization or deletion process. Eligibility and evidence requirements vary; do not sign in as the account holder.
Funeral and remembrance choices
Optional choices, not a list of things every family must do.
Compare funeral, burial, or cremation optionsFamily support
Review known wishes and an itemized price list. Choose only the options that apply, and confirm who is legally entitled to authorize arrangements.
Confirm burial rights or cemetery arrangementsProvider or beneficiary authority
If relevant, ask the cemetery about existing plot rights, ownership, permits, and authorization before purchasing anything.
Check rules for cremated remainsProvider or beneficiary authority
If relevant, ask the provider and appropriate authority about keeping or scattering ashes, permissions, and local environmental rules. Do not assume public land or sea scattering is unrestricted.
Estate-related expense log
Keep a simple list of costs you have incurred. This is not an accounting record or approval to pay estate debts. Ask the authorized representative about payment and reimbursement; keep receipts in your own storage.
0 expenses · Total USD 0.00
Entries are not saved to your account or sent to AI. Download before leaving or refreshing.
What to gather
Gather what applies to your family and keep important records in storage you control (see the Records Guide). It does not need to be complete to be useful.
- Certified death certificates (ask each institution how many copies are needed)
- Funeral home and service arrangements
- Will, trust, and executor information
- List of accounts, insurance, and benefits
- Key contacts: attorney, accountant, advisors
- Household and property details to secure
Keep the records you gather in storage you control.
This guide is free to read. Create an account when you are ready to keep a home inventory and private family memories. Use this checklist while you gather records in your own storage. Playbooks and guides are general organizing guidance, not legal, financial, medical or insurance advice.
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